When I'm sitting at my desk, working, or walking briskly somewhere, I can forget I'm pregnant. When I first wake up in the morning, I'm still somewhat taken aback by the large belly passing by in the mirror. Reminders include the usual suspects-- heartburn, totally forgetting what I was about to say (or do), leg cramps, baby kicks, etc-- but these are all here and now, and merely involve my present self, embodying this new state. The new state, of course, has required adjustment for sure, but not that much more than embarking on a new diet, exercise, or sleeping regimen as a normal course of personal growth would entail. The new state doesn't REALLY foretell the drastic ransacking that my life as I've known it is about to endure.
Making the cognitive leap to being someone's mother has been slow. It comes in gentle waves-- like the recent one in which, as I stood in the middle of our newly empty, former-bedroom-soon-to-be nursery, a vision of my new life flashed before me: the waft of sweet baby smells; hearing a gurgling and happily awake little one; seeing her stand, eventually, against the bars of her crib. What I can't quite do is piece everything together into the whole it soon will be.
But, I will savor living this transition-- enjoy the space between my old life and my new life, and relish this unique perspective, this entire experience, as much as possible.
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